If I was choosing a name now I think perhaps Templeton Brewer or Boothby Graffoe. Maybe Grim or Blind Boyard. No odder than my ancestral name, Baumber. Bomber. O-baumber. BAUM-ber.
There's a building in town, it's a shop now, but on the side there's a couple of words carved into the stone, "IMPERIAL HALL", with the square and compass sign in place of As.
Something I once wrote about Arsenal:
As anyone who's read a David Icke book or Arinzona Wilder's book will know only evil and double crosses come out of Alsace-Lorraine. Arsene Wenger, Arsenal Football Club's manager, is an Alsatian. Here's a conspiracy you've never heard of.
Arsenal's colours are red and white, the colours of the murderous secret society the assassins, a medieval Muslim terrorist group. Is it a coincidence that Osma Bin Laden is report to be an Arsenal fan? Look at the strange circumstances surrounding the "food poisoning" or Tottenham Hotspur in their last game of the 2005/6 season, a game crucial to deciding if Arsenal would qualify for the Champions' League, with all the money and prestige that implies, or would they be pipped at the post by Tottenham Hotspur, a club of notorious Jewish sympathies? How is it that only the players were affected by the food poisoning, not the other guests at the hotel or even Tottenham's non-playing staff? The Premier League sent a doctor to examine the players but made a decision before the doctor arrived. Why? The chairman of the Premier League was at Highbury to watch Arsenal's last competitive game there before moving to a new stadium, continuing Arsenal's long history of being cosy with the League, Football and Premier. Was he being buttered up? In the hours before the announcement of the "food poisoning" outbreak odds on Tottenham losing were cut dramatically in Far Eastern betting syndicates. Could this be, not an Arsenal conspiracy, but a continuation of the wave of far eastern gambling interventions in English football previously embodied primarily in the 90s phenomenon of syndicates sabotaging floodlights in Premiership grounds to ensure games would be called off?
Consider, though, the past history of Arsenal Football Club. They extended the Football League into the South, a major part of the League's policy of expansion, effectively scuppering the nascent Southern League and outraging the London Football Association by becoming the capital's first professional club. Tottenham were, of course, in the Southern League. Arsenal then moved from South West London to North London to become Tottenham's local rivals, pursuing a continuing vendetta againt Spurs, the Jewish club. Arsenal obtained their new ground, or the land to build it on, from the Church of England, headed by the Archbishop of Canterbury, a close friend of the Arsenal chairman Sir Henry Norris. Norris was also archdeacon of the masonic United Grand Lodge of England. This was followed by the 1919 scandal whereing Arsenal gained promotion from the second division, again at the expense of Tottenham who were relegated, despite the fact that Arsenal finished only fifth in the second division the previous season, therefor being less deserving of Division One status than Tottenham or the third and fouth teams in Division Two, all of whom went into Division Two. This seems to have been achieved by blackmailing the chairman of Liverpool and Manchester United who had been found guilty of matchfixing by the High Court and were scared of being kicked out of Division One, or even out of the league.
A film was made in the thirties called the "Arsenal Stadium Mystery". Speaks of influence. The nearest underground station to the Arsenal Stadium was renamed Arsenal. No ordinary team could have done that. Arsenal had the best manager of the era and the most innovative ever, Herbert Chapman.
How did Arsene Wenger, a foreigner, get a job managing a notoriously conservative English club? He was already in line for the job when the previous manager, George Graham, was banned from footbal for a year for taking "bungs". How convenient that this popular and successful manager should be punished for something done by nearly every manager in the country at just the right time to clear the way for Wenger. Wenger's scheme nearly wnet wrong however, when he was denied the job in preference to Bruce Rioch. Rioch didn't last long, though, and Wenger got his job soon enough.
Fascism is a constant, even in sport. See the books of Andrew Jennings, the IOC and FIFA have long been run by fascists. AC Milan is owned by a former P2ista. Abramovic, of course, has added an element of murderous mafia money to our national game.